"That which I would do, I do not..."

"...and that which I do not, I do. Oh, wretched man that I am, who shall deliver me from this depth?"

I really hate it when I'm getting torn in multiple directions. It's been proven time and again, that I collapse under stress when I'm in a situation where so many things in my life try to pull me in so many directions.

Right now, I really just want Kristine to understand that she is not separate from the family; rather, she is a part of it, and that she needs to be comfortable in it, and she needs to live her life in it, and share her spirit with it.

Honestly, I'm still disappointed that I haven't seen her carry my nephew in her arms. But, that's just me being a shallow, overtly-proud uncle.

The truth is, I truly understand her point, and her point of view. I see where she's coming from. And I know in the depths of my heart that she deserves my time and attention. Still, I hope that she understands that there are places I have to be, and there are relationships other than ours, that I have to fix.

I just wish that she would be more willing to part with me from time to time.

Family are the only guaranteed people to be around you until you age, and you don't want your relationship with them to sour, or be too far detached from what it originally was.

Entropy dictates that everything will break down. I truly believe that. Based on the time that I've been away, I've a lot of ground to make-up for, and to cover.

I hope she understands that I'm trying to do what the prodigal son did, and come back home, in a sense that is just more than the physical.

She already knows that unlike her relationship with her father, my relationship with my family isn't as open -- at least on my part. It's something that I have to work on. It's something that I am currently working on.

It's also something that I'm not good at.

It's something that will take, and demand, my time.

I really hope she understands.

PS. It was Trinity Broadcasting Network, not The Bible Network. It might as well be, though.