Wednesday, July 16, 2008

"Never doubt..."

"...that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has."
- Margaret Mead


Monday, July 14, 2008

"The future..."

"...will soon be a thing of the past."

Moments ago I was watching a video on TED today where Robin Chase was talking about starting a wireless peer to peer infrastructure, er a "Mesh Network," using the existing car system in the US.

While the concepts were intriguing and all, and my mind was racing to imagine how this idea could be plausible in a Philippine setting, I immediately remembered one of Robin Williams' monologues in the movie Man of the Year. In it he said that networking, and the advance of technology is nice and all that, but what we should really be scared of, or watch out for, is the possibility that in the near future our fridge will be talking to our microwave.

Can you imagine your fridge telling your microwave to not cook that microwavable lasagna because the fridge's been tracking your calories for the day and it says you've gone way overboard?

Now take Robin Chase's model. Imagine when your cars start talking to each other? Spooky ain't it? We don't even have to go that far into the future to find worrisome scenarios if it gets implemented. Imagine getting spam in your car when you start it up in the morning on the way to work.

Sigh, when your inbox becomes your glove box...

Friday, June 13, 2008

"Life... is a series of dogs..."

At the moment I live in the fear of internet-powered social networking. Well, it isn't really fear, it's just that I've learned that I'm too much of a scatterbrain for my own good. I learned that I'm a person who's easily distracted.

Essentially, my almost 24/7 online status on Trillian wasn't a good thing for me. Access to thousands of software and cracks for which on Torrents weren't a good thing for me. So now, I limit myself to observation instead of participation. In the age of RSS feeds, and services like twitter, I try to keep my footprint on the web to a bare mininimum.

I try my best to keep the urls of my blogs to myself. I troll more than I post. I read about online games and other forms of generic techie-based geekery, instead of downloading clients, and wading in various private servers. The only game in the home PC at fairview is a ten-year-old RTS, and my only vice geekish soul right now involve monthy purchases of one or two collectibe game cards.

I know I need focus right now, and I do my best to avoid the Wired. It's a space that swallows me whole.

Work on work days. Family on weekends. Love after shifts; and my once a week bouts of online manga, collectible card-game news, and classic PC gaming. I have my life in schedule right now and it's moving like clockwork. Sorry. No distractions for me right now. No new online projects, no access to the wired world, no conventions or conflagrations... just smooth clockwork.

I hope people who find out I'm annoyed when they know my blog URL don't take it personally.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

"Foozrabah"

There. I feel better.

No, I'm still ill. I'm no longer flustered over what I read though. I'm happy where I am now, and more importantly, where we are now.

No need to pick at old wounds.

...Be happy with what you have, everything else will follow.
...Know in your heart that everything is alright, and everything will be.
...Work hard because you are content, not because you are in despair.
...Love others.

"What are you allergic to?"

"...everything"

I'm sick. My right ear is currently diagnosed with swimmer's ear, and my left ear seems to coming down with the same condition.

So far the pain and swelling part of the symptom checklist is manifested in my left ear. No, pus or hearing impairments yet - which is what my right ear is currently going through. It's damned annoying and it's damned distracting. It's like having a swollen potato for an ear.

Anyhow, the pulsating pain is making it difficult for me to complete Kristine's layout for her LJ and her WordPress on her 110mb account. What makes my day worse is that last night while I was uploading stuff, the power cut. That kinda ruined half-a-day's work. It also made the second floor of our house hot and humid as hell.

The heat forced me to find one of those mattress things that's half an ottoman, half a day bed, and place it beside a reasonably cold window and try to get some shuteye there. Come around 3am, I wake up because that's the hour I have to apply some eardrops on my pulsating orifice, and I discover that my allergies have acted up again.

So that's where I am right now: I have a throbbing useless ear, and half my skin area is covered in allergy induced sores. I'm drunk from the Benadryl. I'm half deaf from the eardrops. My other ear is in pain. My taste buds aren't working due to the pain-killers - that seem to have lost their effectiveness at things other than making watter taste weird. My muscles are sore. My back is popping. My eyes feel like oddly shaped rocks some idiot picked up from some arid dessert and stuffed into my eye sockets.

I am ill.

It's annoying because Kristine wants me home, and she still wants her layouts done. It's exasperating because I have work on Tuesday, and I have bills to pay on Friday. It's such a pain because I and I still have to explain to her why her layouts aren't done, why we can't buy a PS2 at the end of the month, why I don't think I'm psychically fit to make a 2 hour journey from the north of Quezon City to the southern corner of Makati.

The blog post I read, didn't help either.

The ref, the cabinet, the closet, the PC table, the TV, the bookshelf, the clothes drawer, half the sandman books, and the DVDs are mine. I found the apartment where we're living in right now. I covered the deposit of the apartment we used to live in. I paid for you for two months without holding it against you, when you were the one who was looking through job listings. But I don't say that do I?

I'm unhappy because, whenever I have something to do for myself, you feel like throwing a hissy fit that demands all my attention, but I don't say that do I? I'm annoyed that you when you're angry, by default, I either try to appease, apologize, or comfort; when I'm angry, you cry or you get angry back. Don't you see? I can never, ever, ever tell you that I felt that you did something wrong without you being mad at me for it.

I'm annoyed that after we discuss plans to save money, or spend certain ways, you just want things... for no reason other than that other people have them.

I'm annoyed that you're never happy with what you have, I'm not even talking about stuff... I'm talking about your mom and dad.

I'm annoyed that you say I don't listen when you try to say things, but you never answer my questions or even look me in the eye when I try to talk - you only talk when I'm already past the point of frustration with you, or when you're already in the mood to shout, and demean. But I don't say all that do I?

They say "through thick or thin." Well, I think in our case it's "be happy when it's thick, and go nutters on him from time to time when it's thin by telling him he's 'not trying hard enough', until it's thick again."

I'm trying just as hard as I am now, than I was at the start of the year. Only now my salary is larger than yours, whereas back then my salary was nil. So what's the difference? Why were you more unhappy back then than now? It certainly wasn't the effort was it? It's the results that's appreciated right? Not the effort. Perhaps the though process here is that I go carry my body weight, and you go carry yours. Well, that's now how it works, if I'm wrong and it is; well, that's not how I want it to work.

I probably should spend most of my mental time someplace
else now. I should follow my own advice, that some things are only problems when you think they are.

I think I'm starting to get allergic to all this.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

"No day but..."

"...today."

One of the things I hate about being a twenty-something is that it is the age range wherein formalized gatherings usually mean that somebody is really, really sick, or someone just died.

Usually these gatherings are initiated by relatives or close friends. Sadly, the past few gatherings that was brought to my attention involved both death and sickness - the later being less direct than the former as the agenda of the gathering.

What's worse is the inevitability of the later leading to the former. The time between now, and that fatal conclusion though is where faith comes in. Faith mind you not, spirituality or religion. Although both spirituality and religion could both involve faith, faith itself could be divorced from massive doses of introspection or wisdom required by spirituality, or dogmatic beliefs in specific higher powers that religion asks of you.

The simple belief that everything will turn out okay, or is already okay, can move mountains.

Faith, the purest form of hope is what we - is what I - turn to during times like this.

Monday, March 3, 2008

"Why is the word ambulance..."

"...written backwards on the front of an ambulance?"

I found it extremeley amusing the other day that on the TV trivia show I was watching, so many were asked the aforementioned question and so little managed to come up with a decent answer.

Yes, I have pathetic means of self-entertainment these days. A crammed product training period does that to you. The spare time I've got, I've been spending it on sleep, or food, or even more sleep. I'm pretty thankful though that the spare time I have is still a gigantic sum compared to the amount of spare time that everyone else my age has.

I think it has more to do with my body clock adjusting to my new schedule than the amount of hours I have away from work. I did after all come from a regular 9-5 position.

Speaking of my body, I currently feel gravely ill. Since around 1am this morning, while I was listening to sample calls and making notations on our tools for my assigned account mentor, I've been getting the uncomfortable urge to vomit. My eyes feel like they're on fire, my joints ache, and whenever I squeeze my joints or flex my limbs I could swear there's some form of battery acid in there eating away at my cartillage.

Not that I've been comfortable with my body when I was feeling healthy several days ago. The short of the long of it is this: I'm getting fat.

I could feel my double chin pressing down on my larynx even if I'm not pushing my chin against my colar bone. My face is several milimeters wider than it was 4 months ago. I 4-story-climb up a flight of stairs is enough to knock the wind out of me. My pants still fit me, but the tire around my waste is starting to spill over my beltline.

Thank God the fat hasn't moved to the area near my bladder, otherwise, I'd have to buy several new pairs of pants.

I'm ill, I'm fat, and I'm draining by the requirements of my new occupation... isn't there a trivia show on some channel that gives you the solution to this?